Because you can't have depths without surfaces.
Linda Grant, thinking about clothes, books and other matters.

Friday, 23 November 2007

Don't.

Crocs are so fabulous and Uggs are even cooler, so why not just combine the two like this

Then everyone will know that you have absolutely no taste.*

* If you live in North Dakota and you are wading through slush along a . . . no, my vocabulary is giving out, whatever it is you've got there . . . then sure, buy a pair of these, just as long as you know that their sole purpose is to keep your feet dry and warm. But they are not, I repeat not, a fashion statement, and no, they are not cute as scarlet puppies, and yes, people will look at you funny if you wear them in the city, just as you would look at me askance if I tried bringing in the steer to the . . . something . . . in Christian Louboutins.

Fit for purpose, fit for purpose.

Thanks to twollin in the comments, I have just discovered something much, much worse. I just didn't know. I'm going away now, to drink some alcohol and look for drugs that erase bad visual memories.

10 comments:

Dana said...

Crugs.

Linda Grant said...

Closely related to the word crud

twollin said...

Sorry - if you live in North Dakota (or Michigan or Indiana, or Minnesota or northern NY...pick you cold, nasty, wintry state), and have any sense of style whatsoever, you are wearing what are coyly referred to as "Bean Boots". These are uniformly New England-y, 1930-but-in-a-Depression-sort-of-way not in a 1930s-Joan-Crawford-sort-of-way, UGLY. They are dark brown/green rubber with chain tread on the bottom, medium brown leather shafts which lace up with stout leather laces going up the top. They come in styles ranging from ankle height to almost to the knee I think. They are ugly. They are sensible. They have no style except if you are also wearing dark wool trousers and a buffalo check wool shirt (and carrying a hunting rifle), but they work; LLB has been making and selling them for almost 100 years. They are the closest we have in the US to "Wellies".
These crugs or whatever they are..are a definite "no".

Thomas said...

I wore the latter for two years delivering a local paper.

Yes, I am still scarred.

Linda Grant said...

I am so very sorry, Thomas. What can I say?

Anonymous said...

Ducks...haven't seen them in ages. When I was a kid/teen I had them, but they were tall (we sometimes get alot of snow where I am)...it's been a long time since I've seen them worn tho. People used to wear them all the time in the 80s. They started as a preppy/Sloney fashion statement, but they're practical where it snow/rains heavily.

I guess they ARE a combo of an Ugg and a Croc, esp. the tall version, never thought about it. I might have a pair still buried in my closet.

enc said...

Those L.L. Bean Duck shoes have been around forever.

I dare you to go to llbean.com and investigate the other functional-but-lacking-in-style footwear on the site. I don't think Bean's ever been about looks, because they're in Maine, one of the coldest states in the Union, and pretty much all they care about is keeping warm for half the year. After a few weeks of freezing temperatures, nobody cares how anybody looks anymore!

Anyway, I wore those Duck Shoes when I was 12. They held up in inclement weather, and they were the de rigeur preppy shoe in my part of the world. We wore them with Levi's 501s, grosgrain ribbon belts, print turtlenecks, with a Lacoste shirt on top of that (collar up, of course), oxford-cloth button-down shirt on top of that, and shetland fair-isle sweater on top of that.

It was winter in Chicagoland (70 below windchill factor). It was 1980. We were preppy. It was the thing to do at the time. Please forgive me.

I have to hand it to L.L. Bean, however, in the quality and durability department; the custom gym bag I got from them last year has taken a world-class beating and continues to look good as well as function properly.

Mopsa said...

You really must have a shufty around a country store - the kind that does agricultural kit, equestrian goodies and the like. These horrors and more are ubiquitous. And yes, as well as Celtic Sheepskin Uggs, which I love, I also have blue Birkenstock Super Birkis. Yes, they are ugly as sin, but much quicker to slip on than wellies and comfortable. Don't really like being seenin them though!
http://www.birkenstock.co.uk/index.php?m=catalogue&a=vw_prod&wprid=11

funkycamper said...

Ugly? Yes. But the perfect waterproof shoe for walking my dogs in the fields in the winter. If you can find a more fashionable, practical shoe for that, I'd sure like to know about it. I don't think it exists.

lagatta said...

Of course all of this is deeply traumatic for us in Montreal, where we do love pretty clothes but unfortunately are closer to Maine than to Paris in terms of winter weather... very sad.