Lia does Passover

Top Baby Lia examines matzah

Darling, to die for

A journalist once said to me, apropos of a certain features editor on a paper that shall remain nalmeess, 'X's idea of a perfect story is, Elizabeth Hurley - has she had too much media attention?'

But with interviews like this, what can you do, what can you do?

Hurley herself is apparently looking forward to the moment she never has to pose in a bikini again (although one fashion editor reports, “She is very confident in her body – I turned around and suddenly she was naked”). “Shooting bikinis is now my life, which, as you can imagine, is unmitigated hell,” she says, in her golly-gosh diction, which is peppered with words like “unpleasant-making” and “jolly”. “I can’t think of anything worse in the world than another bikini shoot – and I’ve got two next month. It’s unbearable, and I bring it all on myself. I’ve got nobody else to blame. It’s literallah torture. If you get a photographer you don’t know, of course, you think, ‘Oh God.’ But if you signed on for the gig, sadly, you have to go and be jolly in a skimpy white bikini. So I now rely on nice photographers, and a bit of retouching.”

Ah, yes, digital retouching. “I like a certain amount of retouching, like anybody,” she admits cautiously. “We all like to get rid of spots and shadows under our eyes. I’ve always been quite particular – I don’t like my face to be retouched. Often, people will want to correct one’s face, and with me, they always want to change my nose” – she squishes it – “and I’m like, ‘No, no, no, I can’t look like that. I don’t mind if you want to make me a bit thinner and a bit younger, but you can’t give me a different jaw or eyebrows.’ But the vanity retouching – well, who wouldn’t?”

Hilariously, Hurley’s retouching habit extends to her holiday photos. “I don’t have professional Photoshop, just the one that comes with your camera,” she says. “Every time I download my holiday snaps” – she lowers her voice for effect – “I always go over them. Just the red eye and colour enhancement. I don’t do any slimming, because you need a silly programme, but the colour enhancing is heaven.”