'In that detached way (quite possibly brought on by the two tiny, round morphine tablets I take each morning and night to stop the tumours from making my back ache) in which I register everything these days, I note first my slight sense of surprise at what the shop assistant has just said to me - "a size eight" - and then how little pleasure it gives me, and how odd that is, because once I would have thought size eight was great, albeit unattainable. Last of all, I note with some pleasure that I feel genuine anger. I'm glad because I've been worried at how muted my feelings have been of late, but here I am, violently angry at a culture that tricked me into thinking thin is good, when I can't stop myself losing weight these weeks, and I'm struggling to eat enough to stay well. Maybe it's the Jewish background, maybe it's actually the truth, but I believe that if I eat, I will be fine.'
Dina's Normblog profile