How to look your best

This simple, straightforward set of rules is so basic and obvious that they scarecly need stating, but taken toegther they seem to me to represent the Ten (actually Six) Commandments of dressing, and as such, should be taped to the inside of every woman's wardrobe:

Top styling tips

The second you put a limb into a piece of clothing, you should feel good about wearing it. Throw away anything you haven't worn for more than three years. Never buy clothes you need to be slim to fit into. Every outfit should have one "wow" factor item, be it belt, shoes or a piece of jewellery. Never buy clothes that wear you: people should notice you first, not what you are wearing. Buy jeans to suit your figure, rather than the jeans of the season.

The root of all evil is

. . . a cupboard at the top of the stairs containing an old rug, which has formed a sort of moth Waitrose, aisles and aisles of delicious things to eat. I now have to clean out the whole thing. The floor is covered with larvae.

On the plus side, they don't seem to have got into the wardrobe. I hope.

UPDATE
Having had the most disgusting morning putting half-eaten stuff and other stuff covered in larvae into bin bags, and having found a half-eaten vintage coat from the early 50s which a friend gave me in 1985, my cleaner has arrived and is going over the carpet inch by inch with a vacuum cleaner, crevice tool and insecticide. Next week the carpet cleaners are coming.

I have to go to the gym now and have my trainer make me pick up heavy things. Lovely. Then home to find out if this is the new mayor of London, as predicted by all the news media.

UPDATE UPDATE
After I spent four hours this morning clearing out the cupboard, spraying moth killer and laying down insecticide, and my cleaner spent five hours vacuuming, this evening the moths are still there, on the walls and ceiling in the hall.

I have had an email . . .

Greetings --

just a quick note of commiseration! it's a testament to the laxity of my cleaner that oh, god, nearly a year ago last november, i noticed some bald patches in a rug I'd bought at John Lewis (normally very reliable in all things) and when i turned it over, it was teeming with larvae and suchlike. it took me ages and ages to get rid of the damn things, using some of the same products I see you've got. unlike you, i'm not smart enough to store woolens in bags so ended up tossing a few things, though nothing quite as mind boggling as the rug itself! i'm not at all squeamish about bugs (rodents are another story) but I was grossed out. moths are so persistent, too.
and just when I thought it was safe, I saw one flying round the room the other night. Luckily, so far, seems to be a solo flight. But the shorter version is just to say perservere and I feel for you!

Flashback

The Story of the Supremes, an upcoming V&A exhibition of the performance costumes of the seminal girl-group, makes it pretty clear that it's not just Marge Simpson that Amy Winehouse is channelling. The beehives and the beestung lips, the doll-like get-ups and the larger-than-life voices: it's there in grainy black-and-white stills of Diana and co from the early 1960s, and in a million grainy YouTube clips of Amy circa 2008. Winehouse uses the retro image to position herself in a roll call of female singing icons dating back to Ross and beyond, and distance herself from the world of contemporary throwaway pop. But no amount of hairspray can disguise how much the pop world has changed in four and a half decades: while the Story of the Supremes tells an old-fashioned tale, from the first album cover with its Woolworths pearls to the days of Bob Mackie gowns, the Amy show has been all about downfall, not rise. If the Story of the Supremes is about how to construct female fame, Winehouse, vulnerable in her overexposed body and unsteady on her five-inch heels, is about how vulnerable female stars really are.

Guardian

Update on evil

The location of the moth infestation has been isolated to the hall carpet at the top of the stairs. They are breeding in the place where the carpet meets the wall and subsequently massing into the bedroom where there is a scrumptious banquet of cashmere and other items..

The following actions have been taken:

1. With my moth genocide kit I first sprayed clouds of deadly moth exterminator about.
2. Next I sprayed the walls and carpet with insecticide
3. Next I hoovered up a lot of dead and dying moths and applied a crevice tool to the carpet
4. Then I set down traps, which are little open cages with a sticky strip on them dosed in something which attracts male moths in the hopes of some high class nookie, But actually kills them. The females fly about uselessly with no moth Mr Darcy to impregnate them, like characters out of Bridget Jones or Sex in the City.

The result today is that there are lot of dead moths in the traps and lying around on the carpet and no signs as yet of any live ones.

But our enemies are legion and they are cunning and cruel. I do not believe we have reached VE day yet.

Voting

Today we have elections. In London we are voting for mayor and for the London assembly. It was my intention from the outset to keep politics firmly to the margins of this site, so that everyone is welcome who has an interest in the things that interest me.

So I won't say anything about my strong distrust of the incumbent mayor, or my revulsion for his main opponent . But if we think democracy isn't worth leaving the house for in London, who are we to chide others for stealing it?

The meme thing

I've been tagged by Charles Lambert to do this:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

So:

'No-one could resist the valiant girl who, having staked all she had on one throw, watched her dream disappear. She was among the young women visitors to Royallieu who spent their time devising new pranks to amuse Etienne Blalsan. For instance there was the memorable May night when Capel and his friends decided to make an entrance at Etienne's in disguise.'

That's from Chanel, by Edmonde Charles-Roux

I now tag Indigo Alison, Thumbelina Fashonista, 16 Going on 60, Bookslut, An American in London

Jaeger Autumn Winter press show

Early in February I saw Jaeger's first catwalk show in their 125 year history, and wondered if it was too edgy for the audience it was supposed to serve. This morning I saw the collection at their press view. A magazine editor I had shared a car with in February told me that it would be toned down to make a 'selling collection', and so it was.

Seeing the pieces separately, on hangers, and not on six feet eight size 0 models was a completely different kettle of fish. Some items, like the trailing fringes, had been considerably shorted and some of the catwalk pieces will go into the stores in only small numbers.

The core of what I saw was really high standard wool tailoring: a funnel-neck coat dress with gold buttons which I will definitely buy, a double-breasted coat with the same buttons and even a cape. Very strong, very wearable pieces which don't look as though they will date. There were also beautiful bias cut maxi dresses, with sleeves and a stunning velvet dress.

You can see the gold button detailing here, on a black wool skirt, and the fringing. Now imagine those buttons on wearable coats and the fringing cut back 50 per cent.

Trousers, what shape?

Harvey Nicks buyer says:

"If someone asks 'what's on trend?' I don't know what to say. There are no rules. You have to learn your own style. You can wear short, midi or maxi now. Trousers can be wide, skinny, cropped, flared, high-waisted or hipster. They're all 'right'. That's the exciting thing."

Meanwhile, in another part of the forest. . .

Selfridges press release

Selfridges shoe department is experiencing a big increase in sales of vertiginous heels following the striking pictures of Gwyneth Paltrow strutting down the red carpet wearing the highest of heels in the past few weeks. Gwyneth’s new look has seen her teetering round in an array of show stopping shoes with gravity defying heels resulting in a real surge in customer interest.

Heel heights have reached a staggering 7 inches at Selfridges this season with brands such as Balenciaga, Pierre Hardy, Nina Ricci, Christian Louboutin and Yves Saint Laurent delivering the most show stopping styles.

“This season we are selling the highest and most incredible shoes I’ve ever seen. Not for the faint hearted, fetish heels offer the wearer an extreme, attention grabbing look, these are definitely taxi shoes! Alexander Mc Queen’s Languid court shoes with a cigarette heel have been particularly popular due to their elegant timeless silhouette which contrasts beautifully with the very modern square toe.”

Sebastian Manes: Selfridges’ Director of Accessories

Selfridges has seen a massive increase in sales of ‘fetish’ super-high heels over the past week alone with 35 % more pairs being sold. Customers are over looking how challenging 7 inch heels are to manoeuvre about easily in and rather are focusing on the incredible effect they have on lengthening and slimming one’s legs. The extreme appearance of fetish heels means that the foot becomes a real focus of your look, particularly in very adorned styles which have been de rigueur this season.

Evil

How do you get rid of these?

UPDATE:

The situation with the moths is as follows. I have had various moth repelling sachets etc inside my wardrobe for years. When I got back from Australia in mid-March and went into the bedroom I found a dozen or so moths circling round the bedside lamp. Since then they have proliferated. They are on the ceiling, on the walls and crawling around occasionally on the duvet. Several hundred were lounging around on the carpet at the top of the stairs, and I hoovered them up, which seemed to do the trick. Several times a day I go at the moths on the walls and ceiling with the nozzle of the vacuum cleaner, but more always come to take their place. So far they don't seem to have eaten anything I can find in the wardrobe, but the cashmere is in sealed bags and all my good clothes are in protective covers. I feel that the sachets and whatnot are keeping them out of the wardrobe but in the room itself. Last night I found them inside a pair of Uggs. Another black mark for that footwear.

UPDATE UPDATE:
I just had a long conversation with a very nice man from here, who told me to buy one of these, which I have done.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
I have just carefully gone through my wardrobe. So far, no holes. I wonder if I have ever really needed seven little black dresses.

FURTHER UPDATE
I realise that the moths are emanating not from the wardrobe but from the carpet on the hall stairs outside. As one commenter said, what you need is a crevice tool attached to the vacuum cleaner to carefully go along the edges of the carpet and the area where each stair meets. I have now vacuumed and with my new moth genocide kit which arrived this morning, put down insecticide. The advantage of going through my wardrobe was that I realised what pieces I had too many of and what was missing and bought a top at COS this morning. And a long necklace which it obviously needed. So there's always a silver lining, eh, girls?

Speaking truth to power

Corinne Grant (definitely no relation) writes:

A truly ready-to-wear outfit would assemble itself, slink out of the wardrobe and leap on to your body the moment you stepped out of the shower. A ready-to-wear outfit would never crease, never stain, never need washing or dry-cleaning or ironing. It would have the good grace to expand and contract according to your size so that you would never know that you'd put on weight. I would happily pay good money for that.

I haven't attended a fashion festival this year. For a start, I don't own anything clean and, secondly, I always get the uniform wrong. The last time I endured one I wore a lovely broderie anglaise frock in black with ruffles all through the skirt. Everyone else was wearing jeans tucked into their boots and pashminas. I thought standing out was what I was supposed to do but apparently I had completely missed the point. This is the fashion rule I've never really grasped: to truly capture that individual look you are supposed to look like everybody else.

Maybe it's just me, but fashion festivals seem to be high school all over again, just with a $1000 price tag.

(What's a 'fashion festival'?)

courtesy of Norm

Tagged - five random things about me

I have been tagged by George Szirtes and am supposed to write six random things about myself. So here they are:

1. I have never seen an episode of the Simpsons

2. My father knew Houdini

3. I always thought I would grow out of being untidy, but I haven't. I don't understand the principle of putting things away. If I can't see them, they might as well not be there.

4. The oldest item currently in my wardrobe is a sweater dating from 1978. One day I will be thin enough to wear it again. One day.

5. I am a Canadian citizen (as well as a British citizen)

6. I will not, under any circumstances, eat a fried or poached egg. I might eat a cold boiled egg in a Salad Noicoise, or an omelette but only as long as the filling overwhelms the taste of the egg, and there is no runiness.

I will now tag Deja Pseu, Phyllis at The Sewing Divas, Lisa Goldman Miss Cavendish Charles Lambert Baroque in Hackney

There is no waiting list for Hermes Birkins

Example of rich Hermes customer

It's all a scam:

In his book, Tonello, 49, an Osterville native, reveals how he cracked the code for jumping the waiting list to purchase Birkins whenever he pleased. Naturally, this code has something to do with large amounts of cash. When Tonello first attempted to purchase a Birkin at Hermès, he was told that the store had none available. But when he later visited a store and spent thousands on Hermès merchandise such as scarves and jewelry, he found that stores would suddenly have the coveted Birkins in stock.
. . .
A spokeswoman for Hermès said there is no system or trick for purchasing a Birkin. She said it's simply a matter of forming a relationship with the store and working with an associate to track down one of the bags when they become available. Because the bags are handmade, she said there are limited numbers available. A single Birkin - depending on the material - can take up to a week to complete.

"There was a waiting list at one time," says Bernice Kwok-Gabel. "But we realized the whole concept of a waiting list may be off-putting for some customers."

(thanks, sewing divas)

Sew it yourself

courtesy of the Sewing Divas

I know some readers will be delighted to hear that there has been a huge jump in home dressmaking, according to the Guardian.

I speak as one who who has both two left feet when it comes to dancing, and and two left hands when it comes to sewing, and who thinks that shop-bought is always better than home-made (when it's my home it's being made in) but I'm nonetheless quite pleased to see any revival of creativity:

So it comes as no surprise to me that more and more people are taking up sewing. Last week, Argos reported that sales of selected sewing machines have rocketed by 50% in their stores in the past 12 months. Explaining this phenomenon, they cite increasing concern for the environment, awareness of social issues and a backlash against the "throwaway society". They need only add the words "credit crunch" to give a complete picture of why sewing has suddenly become popular again. Woolworths has also just reported a similar trend, with sewing-machine sales growing by 258% in the same period. Their explanation? "We think it's down to more home economics classes being taught in school, the increasing popularity of fancy-dress parties and the death of the high-street tailor."

And those figures show that a trend that has been bubbling under for a decade has finally hit the mainstream. The crafting revival began in earnest in 2000, when Debbie Stoller, editor of popular US feminist magazine Bust, took a fresh approach to the traditional skills of knitting and crochet, reinventing them for contemporary crafters. She wrote the knitting book, Stitch and Bitch, and soon groups of the same name were gathering in clubs, bars and cafes across the world to make stuff together. In the UK, other groups started, too, including Knitchiks (knitchicks.co.uk), the Cast Off knitting club (castoff.info) and IknitLondon (iknit.org.uk).

The Thoughtful Dresser: The blog, the book . . .

Oh, look!

So last year

It seems that the term vintage is now out. Replacing it is CCC - credit crunch chic, i.e. wearing clothes you already have instead of buying new ones.

It'll be tough but I plan to be in style, In fact I'm planning to wear, once again, a Zara dress I bought in the summer of 05.

Swing swing swing

Oh, and the pashmina is back, but tied a different way, apparently

Not to be confused with pashminas of yore, which were pretty and pastel and draped across shoulders, mark II is wound round the neck and dangles down the front, school-of-Burberry style, as a deliberate counterpoint to summer’s ultra-feminine ruffles fest. If you’re aiming for androgynous tailoring, the kinda-depressed pashmina will ensure you don’t look too severe. If you’re a celebrity, you could wear one with an evening dress to show you’re cool. Think of it as a new kind of necklace, but only if it helps.

Spurred on by the success of my personal pashmina odyssey these past few months, I’ve been tempted to progress onto other scarves, successful scarf-wearing being the PhD of clothes. Unless you’re Chloë Sevigny, the dowager Duchess of Devonshire, Inès de la Fressange or Marilyn Monroe prancing around nude behind a transparent scarf on a Bert Stern shoot, it’s hard to avoid looking like BA cabin crew. Still, Hermès didn’t get this far with four customers, so there must be a knack. Unfortunately, none of us in the fashion department can identify it. It would appear that on the whole, successful scarf-wearing is an innate talent, like having the ability to bite your toe nails or be French.

I was wearing my Etro scarf to tea with Joan Burstein on Tuesday in exactly this way, and she took it off me and re-tied it. I think it helps to have a long neck

The place Lisa is telling you to buy your pashmina isn't pure.co.uk, that doesn't work because it's wrong, but the link at the top of my very page! I'm going there straight away. So should you.

The pendulum swings . . .

Jess in the New Look

I think it was about three years ago that, during a phone conversation with Ian Katz, then the Guardian's features editor, he said to me: 'Black trousers are over.'

Now Mr Katz, since elevated to overall editor of the Saturday edition, while a truly great newspaper editor and the man who rang me up one day and asked me if I'd like to go over to Paris to 'bring back some brainy ruminations on the collections', with his Camper shoes and party shirt, is not the first person I'd turn to to fashion advice. And not the person from whom I'd welcome hearing the news that black trousers were over.

But no, he said, we have a piece from Jess going in. Jess Cartner-Morley is the Guardian's fashion editor and duly, a couple of days later, there it was. Black trousers are finished. How, dear readers, I scoffed. Because the absolute staple of every girl's wardrobe was a pair of perfectly fitting (ha!) black trousers. And one had no idea what one was going to wear instead.

Yet six months later, I realised I hadn't worn a pair of black trousers in months. Something in fashion had shifted and I was going along with it. So for that reason I tend to believe what Jess says. Volume (which she at first called 'poufy') - she announced the arrival of that. And so it went.

But now Jess tells us that black trousers are back.

Pay very careful attention:

This year, the dress is finally losing its hold over fashion. Next season's must-have is not a cocktail dress, but an evening blouse. And now is the time to find the trousers to wear it with.

The new-look trouser sits proudly high on the waist. The slightly slouchy, flat-fronted trouser of five years ago - which British women adored for its its ability to make even pear-shaped hips look boyishly slim - is nowhere to be seen. The new style is more determinedly feminine, with a waistband that is in nodding distance of your actual waist. Think 1977 rather than 1997.

If you haven't gone in for fashion-trousers for a while, the first trying-on session can be a little alarming. The style is lengthening to the leg and rather elegant, but decidedly unforgiving on the waist, hips and tummy. Comrades, do not panic. Wear a blouse or bold T-shirt that draws attention to your top half, rather than a plain vest or knit, so you won't feel quite so self-conscious. And cast your mind back to the first time you wore a pair of skinny jeans - if you managed to reconcile yourself to those in the end, these are going to be a breeze.

No, I didn't manage to . . .

And the time in my life for tucking-in, is over.

Heels, the end is nigh

it says here

In recent seasons, high heels have been growing at a staggering rate, with celebrities seemingly daring each other to go higher and higher. Towards the end of 2006, Christian Louboutin and his trademark red soles were regularly name-checked not just in Vogue, but in the tabloid press too. Heel heights became a story in their own right. From Nigella Lawson in her 6in fetish shoes back in 2004, to exacting descriptions of the towering heels Victoria Beckham wore to the Cruise/Holmes "Welcome to LA" party last year, stories are now regularly and spuriously spun around shoes and heel heights. The result being that any two-bit celebrity who wants to be papped now knows that she need only strap on some platform spikes with nosebleed potential and coverage is pretty much guaranteed.

But there are signs that a quiet backlash is beginning. Celebrities who don't want to be associated with a limo lifestyle have turned their back on heels. Indie poster girl Alexa Chung favours Chanel two-tone pumps, and has been seen recently sporting Russell & Bromley schoolgirl loafers. It is a shoe that demands a gamine leg and a well-turned ankle, and as Chung no doubt knows, it is far harder to pull off than no-brainer 7in heels.

Russell & Bromley are quietly chuffed with the success of their Chester loafer, as it is known. "We've had that style for 25 years and it used to be a bit of a mum's shoe, but recently it has become one of our best sellers, and younger customers are buying it," explains a spokeswoman.

Meanwhile, Lily Allen has freshened up her look with blonde hair and flat pumps, and although Carla-mania was draining, Mme Sarkozy did reawaken our consciousness to the sartorial excellence of flat pumps.

On the high street, which is gearing up for the annual battle of the surprising summer must-have, several flat shoe styles are already in the running. Moccasin shoes are in contention again; this time not boots but slip-ons that are not too dissimilar to Chung's loafers. Gap has already scored a hit with its selection of gladiator sandals designed by French shoe genius Pierre Hardy. Yes, we've seen the shape before, but it is the first time that a designer/high street collaboration has fixated on a simultaneously affordable and flat shoe.

So what of the future for high heels? On the catwalks for next autumn, heels still prevailed, but there were subtle signs that the mood is changing. Alexander McQueen, once a devotee of the super-sized killer stiletto, chose to style the entire second half of his autumn collection with heavily jewelled and perfectly flat slippers. They looked beautiful and if the high street takes his lead, there may well be even more options for those wishing to swerve the heel wars come autumn.

But in the meantime, let's sit back in our new flatties and watch Eva Longoria and the Beso crew, Sarah Harding, Alex Curran et al totter their 7in super-sized heels right over the tipping point into style

What did you wear in the war, Mummy?

Handbag from the V&A's collection, circa 1945